Proposal for storyboard

This is my attempt to create a proposal for the storyboard i will be making

My advertisement will feature Jaguar Eyewear. In the ad, I will target an older(60) and rich audience. It will start showing a blind man walking in style and full of confidence going out of the Jaguar store and out to the sidewalk after buying the eyewear. Greeting everyone else with pride. He starts walking but since he is blind he walks into a pole and acts like nothing happened. Everyone else was looking in confusion but he still walked with confidence. But he walked in the wrong direction. After hitting the pol he went left which was away from the sidewalk and into the streets. A Jaguar car stops first with a perfect brake and no accidents. Random brands of cars behind the Jaguar car start crashing into each other. A truck from the other direction did not have enough time to stop and crashed into the blind man. He died and went to heaven still wearing the glasses waving and greeting all entities and god himself there.

The ad ends there and the video shows the slogan "You can't see people but people see You"  

After some discussions, the new ad will be: 

My advertisement will feature Jaguar Eyewear. In the ad, I will target an older(60) and rich audience. It will start showing a blind man walking into a store all sad and depressed navigating with his stick. The camera stays outside showing the store and after a while, the blind man starts walking in style and full of confidence going out of the Jaguar store and out to the sidewalk after buying the eyewear. Throwing the stick he needed to help him navigate the streets. Starts walking and greets everyone else with pride. He starts walking but since he is blind he walks into a pole and acts like nothing happened. Everyone else was looking in confusion but he still walked with confidence. But he walked in the wrong direction. After hitting the pole he went left which was away from the sidewalk and into the streets. A speeding car did not have enough time to stop before hitting the blind man that is still waving. 

Before the crash, the advertisement ends with the slogan "Almost the perfect eyewear"